There must be more in life than this…

there must be something else, right? something we can’t see with the day by day living, and the continuous noise we have inside and outside.

Since a kid I’ve always felt there was something missing, something nobody teach you at school,some kind of energy surrounding all, a very powerful mysterious force.Like the certainty that everything was somehow connected. Obviously never talked about it with my High School mates, cause was quite busy trying to survive High School (Who the hell invented that torture? that’s cruel! So many little freaks locked up for years in same building, trying to be cool and fighting with more inner changes than a werewolf!! seriously, uf! ).

There has to be something else, otherwise life is so boring. Do we really come to this planet, grow up, make all this connections with others, work in something most of times we hate, participate in a reality show in the worst cases, and die? I don’t think so.

Nature is so perfect and so intelligent when you look how easy trees, or animals or oceans flow….so why are we so stupid? I think we haven’t found the trick yet (well, obviously some people does and live unbelievable amazing lives with no effort, apparently). But most of us, even when we are happy in some areas of life, struggle so much in others, and sabotage ourselves, and suffer, and seem to be all the time in a constant and exhausting search. I’m sure everything is much more easy than it looks like, and if we could find that little “click” we would be amazed by how easy everything we dream comes to us. But how?

I’m more than sure that we all have a purpose here, or maybe more than one and if you could find it and do that….wow!! Every time I work as an actress or dancer I feel like everything is in the right place, like a final piece in a puzzle, with neverending energy, in alignment with everything, connected, fully present, pure possibility, life in full colour (no under use of illegal substances, I swear). I guess for other people is being a doctor or a father or write or travel.

What about all the people we meet out there? Is that just a coincidence? Or are we supposed to meet them, in order to learn something from them or being their teachers? When I look back, even the people I hated the most and made me very unhappy in the past, with the perspective of time,er…..well, they still total idiots, BUT I can realize that they were very important for me, to learn some lesson, to express parts of me that were needed, or just to understand that I don’t want that kind of person in my life anymore.

Or have you ever noticed that you meet exactly same kind of people over and over until you fix something or make a change ?( why do I always date freaks?, why do I always have the worst jobs?, why does my best friend always betray me? …Does that ring any bell? )

Ah, life! so mysterious. Just hope is not true that when you die all the knowledge comes to you like a light and you suddenly get to understand everything. That’s rubbish!! I want to know now! I want to have all the fun right now! Let me find the click! Where is it? Where??

Apocalypse? yes, please

I’m back! It’s been a few weeks of craziness with a lot of things happening and I want to share it with you. After I wrote the “Happy end of the world” post, I decided I was going to bring that attitude to my own life for real.You should really give it a try!! I’m living an inner revolution right now, something has changed for real, and if I look back to some weeks ago, it’s amazing how some things started to change in the outside too, so fast.

It’s like I opened the champagne bottle after shaking it, and things started to jump out really fast, maybe a bit too crazy, but I’m sure they will get quieter. It feels sooo good to feel again, I’ve just realized I was living like in an inertia mode, soooo boring, playing safe, scared of the terrible things that could happen if I give some extra steps. But you know what?? We are so dramatic, always put ourselves in the worst case scenario, but actually, when that thing we fear happens for real, is never that bad as we imagined.

I decided I was going to get ride of the people in my life that doesn’t make me happy. Just like that! you are fired, don’t bother come back! “Slam” .You know the kind, some people is just permanently unhappy and want you to be unhappy too. Well, life is too short and we are millions of people, so if you don’t like me or I don’t like you, is not such a problem. Let them go, Who cares? Even if they’ve been around since ever. Believe me, You’ll be much more happy.

And yes, of course sometimes is harder cause maybe the bad energy comes from somebody you can’t avoid that easily (like at your job) so, how do you do it? …er….I don’t know (sorry), but sure you can find a way. Don’t let anybody take power from you. You are the main character in your life, not an extra artist just passing in the back. Recover your power! I had this stupid person in my job who scares everybody by being such a bitch you couldn’t imagine. And I was always trying to avoid her. But with this “Apocalypse attitude” I just confronted her, directly and told her to stop behaving like such a bitch. I was sure I was going to be fired cause she is kind of a boss, but you know what? after she recovered from shock, she came and offered me a tea instead (WTF??) and now is super nice with me. Still don’t trust her a bit, but I’m in power now.

And like this with everything else. Stop doing things you don’t like just because somebody else wants you to. Be yourself, for real, with the not so nice parts too, cause you are so unique you should never switch off any part of you. I always try to be nice and make people feel good, but sometimes in order to do so, I forget about myself. Not any more! Cause guess what? when you are happy and do the things you like, you make happy the other people too! And the ones who don’t like you? well, ciao ciao!

Stop postponing your life till later, till your next holidays, till the weekend, till you are richer, or skinnier, or have new boobs (er…). Come on! How many clothes you have in the closet waiting for special occasion? What if this occasion never comes?? Wear it today! make today special! I’m not talking about anything magical, or new age or something like that. Just easy steps, what’s the worst thing that can happen if you say to that guy/girl you actually like him? total embarrassment? yes. Avoiding the street he lives in forever? maybe…or he may like you too!!

Take a rubbish bag and put inside all the things you know you won’t use! Stop getting attached to things. Put them away! and new ones will come, for sure. Wake up to the moment (I’m the queen of daydreaming, I know is hard, but just do it), change the street you pass through everyday, try a different coffee, don’t be boring!!!

Say yes to everything!!! and see what happens.. In this weeks I’ve got much more intense and authentic relationships with people around me, new job opportunities and plans that give me energy and a path to follow. I stop fighting with the moment and place where I am, the chances I’ve already lost, the is never going to happen, I’m not talented enough, young enough, etc…And I feel much more alive! Of course is not like a happy ever after thing, still in process. I’ve cried a lot, but laughed a lot too.

So yes, if we survive to this 21-12-2012, I’ll adopt this “End of world attitude” from now on. Thank you Mayans. Deep inside I know you just run out of space in that stone, so couldn’t keep going with the calendar, but who cares? will pretend I believe the whole thing

any similarity to real life is purely coincidental….thank God!!

I love movies! I’m a great spectator, cause when the lights are off and that MGM Lion roars ( I want that Lion!!) I’m already totally in!! I just pretend I believe everything I see, unless of course the movie or the actors are rubbish….BUT sometimes the characters in the movies are just too stupid!!! Come on!

Cinema is so full of those surrealistic situations that they have become conventions we all accept. But they are just so unreal, even for me. Me! I believe everything! I bought that power balance wrist band (twice!!) …cuec..

** Thriller, chan -chan, the main character is chased by the psycho killer inside a house and he/she is unable to open the doors. I want to scream! And they always have a key ring FULL of keys, like one hundred keys! so obviously they can’t find the right one and keep dropping them on the floor, and the bad one is getting closer. How many keys one person can have? do they carry them on the purse everyday??

** Guns are disposable. If they shoot and run out of bullets, they just throw them away! WTF? Why don’t keep them for later and buy some new bullets? What a waste! Being a baddie must be so expensive!

** when a meteorite, big monster out of control or any apocalyptic thing is coming towards earth, what should you do? er…call you loved one and have the time of your life? try to survive somehow? Of course Noo! Just go out to the streets in your pyjamas and steal a Tv from the nearest shop!! ¿?¿? what are they planning to do with that?? never understood this one!

** shower means trouble. Always!

** sex scene! they’ve been together whole night, most of times performing a cirque du soleil show, with no embarrassment at all, specially for us watching, BUT in the morning she will run to the shower covering with the duvet, some sheets, the curtain…not even the shoulder out!

** love when the 27 baddies surround the lead/gorgeous hero, and then wait patiently to attack him one by one. “You first” ,”No please, you first”. And obviously they all die!

** But my favourite one always happens in those “Go for your dream” movies about somebody who is very talented in sports or music, but haven’t been discovered yet. When finishing their job (usually a very bad one), after cleaning the bar, etc..they will start performing thinking nobody else is there. But when they finish: clap clap! from the shadows, where THE casting director or sport manager is watching, by chance. How do they get in the bar if it was closed? creepy!

we could be going forever….maybe another day! Now my popcorn is ready and the lion is roaring. Shhhh!!